d*land

Revelations You Could Live Without.

(why is it dark already?)

i wish you were inside of me
i hope that you're ok
i hope you're resting quietly

I have spent two years borderline obsessing over the idea of Bobby, and not the actual person Bobby. This is important because the concept can be applied to everything and every person that is not an active part of my every day. God. I feel so much better about this.

It's about the pieces you retain, the memories that have kind of faded, because I can't remember what his hands look like.

we couldn't all be cowboys
so some of us are clowns
and some of use are dancers on the midway
we roam from town to town

I'm not exactly dead inside. I've pinpointed the moment I checked out. It all started with reading. I started reading books, and stopped feeling, or processing feelings.

Also, I haven't had regular personal time in two weeks. That two hours when I got home from work was usually spent writing, or sleeping, or thinking, and now, I don't have the quiet that I need to do anything.

then i just light myself on fire
and i walk out on the wire once again

It's mostly grating, as my only escape is noise to cover the noise, or the words to cover the noise. When my two hours are reinstated, I'll probably fall back down. For now, it's an easy coasting void.

if you wrap yourself in daffodils
i will wrap myself in pain
and if you're the queen of California
baby i am the king of the rain

Pretty boring aside from minor aggravations, like the nonstop Mom soundtrack, and the Seven Year Old soundtrack with guest appearances by Neighborhood Kid.

and i say
good night elisabeth

11.18.02 || 4:52 pm

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