Turpentine.
I got really excited that I finished a painting, and a friend of mine was at work, so, I decided to have a little fun and call him.
"[Non descript video store]"
"Hey. What can you tell me about Tommy Boy?"
"Um. It's an okaaay movie. What do you want to know?"
"That's all you can tell me?"
"Well, I could go read the back of the box for you if you'd like."
"No. That's okay."
(long pause)
"Who is this?"
"Carie."
"Carie, huh?"
"Yep."
"Well. Don't you want to know if it's in?"
"Nope. That's all I needed. Thanks."
The moral of this story: Make sure that the person you're calling to harass is the person you're talking to.