In Your Eyes (the light, the heat)
Love
I get so lost
Sometimes
Today was one of those days where I felt more attractive in my sweat pants than actually dressed. No amount of bubble gum pop could lift me out of this mood. No amount of compliments can bring me out of wanting to be 5'4" and 110 pounds.
When I want to run away
I drive off in my car
It's funny that I've never paid attention to my body in any kind of negative light until I moved here. Part of my charm is in the absolute arrogance I have about my appearance. The way I carry myself is close to how I imagine the most beautiful woman in the world would. A year ago, I would have said, You can have any man you want. I can have any man I want.
Not so today.
The grand facade
So soon will burn
Without a noise
Without my pride
I've never disected my features before, or picked myself apart with such vigor.
But then, I can't remember the last time someone sat across from me and told me that I was, at the very least, cute. And that shouldn't matter. Other people's opinion should not factor into how I feel about myself.
But I would be a liar if I said it didn't.
While I appreciate every compliment I get, it only goes so far, because they're all compliments on how I looked for a split second. An instant.
There are days when I can lap them all up, and there are days when they run off of my back.
I see the doorway
To a thousand churches
It's easy to shatter someone's perceptions of you with 50kb, it's harder to do it in person.