Pin The Tail On The Donkey.
I was scared
Tired and under prepared
When we pulled up to the party, I couldn't believe it was an actual barn. I mean, they said it was a barn, but a real one? I've been in Montana for a year and a half and I've never been in a barn.
At least I can cross that off of my To Do list.
We walk in, and it's like some kind of grand entrance. "Here comes the fun!", and I thought for sure they would have queued some kind of theme song up. But, sadly, no. Same shitty Christmas music.
Everyone is standing around in little circles, so we find Kevin and go stand with him. I crack some middle school joke, and run over to the wall so I can lean against it.
The whole time I'm feeling over dressed. I think that's what brought on the disappointment. I wasn't over dressed, but I felt like it. Co-workers wives were staring a little bit, and I caught a few of them pointing. I jokingly asked Kristin how her husband was, and the new baby, and she got pissed... so that was funny.
I got overly excited when Jeremy showed up, but he was just scamming on the blonde, and was not any fun.
Until we started making jokes about leaving, and Kevin went on a homophobic rant.
"Dude. That's just fucking wrong."
"Carie, you're not in California anymore."
"God. That's absolutely no excuse."
"Look around! You're in a FUCKING BARN!"
"Fuck."
I grabbed my coat and went outside for a smoke, ran into a friend and talked for a minute about OMD and Prince. Came back in, drank a half of a cup of rum, told Kristin I didn't feel well (our code to get the fuck out), and split.
The whole time we were in the car, we both just felt this immense sense of relief. I felt like there was just no way I fit in there. It was as though I was in some kind of spotlight the whole time, under examination. Anyone under 30 was on the same examining table. Anyone not married, anyone not attached, anyone not tied to a mortgage.
We went to a bar, had one drink, got hit on on the way out, and went home.
And that was my Saturday night.
Now I know why everyone was surprised I was going.