d*land The most important thing I've learned this year was that my definitions of love needed to be redefined. In the formula I had, there wasn't nearly enough respect, for me or anyone else. Also, the formula was just that: A Formula. Not subject to change. Only constants, without variables. Too extreme. Now it just is. It is what ever it feels like, and if it feels like love, than I'll be fucking damned if I'm going to call it something else. There is a lot more forgiving. Less patience. More understanding. Less compromising. More acceptance. I love you, even if you don't love me. But, I'm not going to wait around for you. I can live with this because this is the way it is. I understand that you don't have to feel the same way. And, I forgive you for giving me up, because I know you can't give me what I need. Where ever you are, that's where you are. I'm not there, but I wish I was. ...I'm starting to think about you a little too much. I've promised someone I have a crush on that I'm going to try not to die in the next five hours. I've also been informed by powers beyond me that I have lots to do next year, and that I don't really have a choice in the matter. Even so, when I wake up tomorrow, I'll be amazed. See you on the other side... Good Night. |