First you make a stone of your heart.
I'm pretty tired of sitting here.
I'm pretty bored of the same conversation in my head.
I'm more and more exhausted every day that passes, and I can't get enough sleep. I think I've killed off all of the excitement, because there's no puzzle to this. I've come to know myself too well, and my habits have become dull.
I've been taking the things I need from different people, and the more I think about it, the more I realize you're just a piece that I need because I can't see your whole. I doubt the whole exists in anyone, and it's hard for me to think I'll never stray, I'm always looking for everything.
There's a you for humor, and a you for thinking, a you for sex, but there is no you for comfort. Nothing comforts me any more because even when I keep the same routine, you can't fall into it, not in the ways you did before. Some small disruption in activity has thrown the whole pattern off, and we've lost the groove. I don't know if I can think the same things you think any more.
I know I'm tired of thinking about it, and I want it done. I want you to be whole so I can see all of the pieces you're missing, so I can see you're real.
I feel awful. I feel like I'm using people, and I feel like I'm not giving anything back, because no one wants the whole me. I don't know if I'm giving the right pieces to the right people, I don't know if the people are right. I don't know if I'm giving too much, or not enough. I don't know what I'm doing. With anything.
I'm pretty tired of sitting here.