Center Field.
My life is only difficult because I make it this way.
If I could stop feeling everything, I could be a different person, and I could be calm, and move to do the things that need to get done.
I could chalk everything up to the forces that be, and I could look forward to everything I've been missing out on, being here. I could be happy to move everything up from the basement, and look for boxes, and repack them.
If I could stop. I just want them to stop. Life doesn't exhaust me, I exhaust me. I don't have the patience to deal with myself, I'm wound too tight. While I want to nurse myself back up, back to happy, it's not happening fast enough, and I'm beating myself up over it.
I'm so fucking tired of being this way.