Pre.
I've become the worst lazy person on Earth.
I called in sick with, get this, A broken toe. What kind of ass does that? Me!
Anyway, my coffee just tasted too good this morning, and my nails looked too pretty, and my lipstick was too perfect to be bothered with work.
Now I'm sitting in my robe, naked except for socks, thinking, drinking coffee, smoking.
Prepare for a long one.