d*land

Xerox.

I thought by now the fear of failure would have crept in, and I would be laying in my bed afraid to wake up in the morning. I thought I would be so stressed out, I would want to go to work to have my mind off of all of my problems, and all of the things I have to do. But, I'm not.

I am, however, growing increasingly irritated by the people I have to deal with. I got into two arguments today. Two times I had to bring out my hardcore voice. This is the voice you use when you're really super pissed, but you can't yell, for what ever reason. I haven't had to use that voice in months and months. Twice today. Two times. Jesus.

I just get so tired of people calling in helpless. So in a panic, they can't hear your words. So dead set in what they think, they can't be bothered to help me, help them. They just want a tech to come on-site for no other reason than to walk them through cleaning out their email box.

I can begin to tell you what that does to you. Day in, day out, the same emergency assholes. The men that think because you're a woman, there's just no fucking way you can fix their problem. The women that are so absolutely positive the computer is lying to them.

I have to laugh, because everyone at work thinks my next job is going to be answering the phone. But, I don't think they have any concept of what this has done to me. This over a year of call center work, of being yelled at all day, of being on a time clock.

I don't know what people have to be made of to live in this job. I don't know what kind of death you have to have, to get up in the morning with no sight of ever getting out. Maybe there are people wired to do this job, and I'm just not one of those people.

Got to get out up from this slumber
And get myself home

I thought maybe I might miss the people I work with, but I will not. I'll only miss Kristin. Everyone else is a lifer, and they don't understand that in every office, there's always a Carie, we just have different names. There's always someone that just flat out doesn't give a fuck, really, not about their job. There's always someone with another agenda, someone with neat toys, someone to make fun of people, someone who thinks management has their heads up their asses. It's not a personal quality. After all, I picked it up from someone else... my friend Ash.

We're all copies of copies of copies anyway.

01.08.03 || 2:52 pm

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