It's never over.
For the first time, in what feels like forever, I don't know how to feel.
Part A says fuck it. Fuck the whole thing. If I can't have everything, I don't want anything. I'd rather sit here with nothing but memories I can pretend didn't happen. I can argue my way into believing I imagined the entire episode.
Part B says what the fuck? What in the hell just happened here? What were you doing? Why are you doing it? Why did you? How could you? Why did I bother?
Part C says C-h-i-l-l. Be patient, have faith. Wait it out, wait to see what else comes, wait, wait, wait. Shut up, delete this entry and everything else, and just be quiet.
Part D isn't talking. She's just curled up in the corner crying.
Part E is in my bedroom stoned, playing video games.
Part F is composing emails.
Part G is smoking, and head holding.
. . .
Part A is very fucking loud, and is starting to win.
I'm now convinced the computer is evil, and not a single, solitary good thing comes out of it. I'm going to scream, and throw things, then I'm going to cry, and I'll exhaust myself into sleep.
I'll change my mind about all of this in 10 minutes.