Water For My Mind.
It's funny the things one is willing to do when one genuinely cares for another person.
I've been thinking a lot about that recently. And really not so much because of the awful things that are going on in another part of the country, but because of all of the wonderful people I've met here and other places online. As much as I feel this machine has become a time and energy sucker, and virtual leech, I've made some connections with people that I just wouldn't trade for anything.
If anything, this situation has proved "Every Cloud Has A Silver Lining" true. Since I've slept on everything that came down yesterday, I can only say I'm Sorry, and give up. I tried every way I know to get my message across, and not out of any kind of vengence, but more out of understanding. I've been Mary. I empathize with her. Her situation is one I wouldn't wish on anyone. I don't think I handled it properly, as I should have just let it go, but my first instinct is always to fight. And that's what I did. I don't regret a word I typed here, every single bit of it was true. So much of that situation needed to stop. Mostly, I didn't want anyone else to fall prey to slick talkers, and men (or women) that only give you their work number.
I also see that this has brought about feelings in other people, people slightly removed, but people who know most of the parties involved. Mostly people who understand, and your support has been wonderful. A public thank you is in order.
Thank You.
. . .
On a slightly lighter note, I'll be leaving for California on Tuesday. The fact that I'll probably never come back to Montana hasn't really sunk in yet. Kristin says it will not hit me until I'm 20 miles out, and I know she's right. I'm so happy about going back home, I can hardly stand it. I love California. No where else have I found people that just get me, and I've been missing that. Way more than I'd ever let on. Life is waiting for me, real Life, away from machines and telephones. Nothing can ever replace that. I remembered the other day that I'll get to listen to real radio stations that don't play Staind and Creed on constant rotation. This excites me to a frightening degree. But, it's been so long since I've listened to KWOD 106.5, they're probably playing the best of the 70's, 80's, 90's, and today!
. . .
I'm going to tell you a secret, but you've got to promise not to tell anyone. Promise?
Okay.
The real reason I'm happy is because someone misses me. And maybe that's a shitty reason to be happy, but I don't care. It means there are moments during his day that he thinks of me. There are seconds, or minutes, that he thinks, "I wish Carie was here."
And I miss him, like every cliche I can think of, I miss him. It's not just to have someone, anyone, it's him. Every single obnoxious and wonderful thing about him, I miss.
And that's all really. It's enough, though I know there will come a day when it isn't, but right now, it's enough.
. . .
So, to answer Blanca's question, that's how. I'm so full of good and wonderful things, I have enough to share.
Don't worry. I don't know how long this will last either.
(I think I'm getting redundant)