d*land

What We've All Been Waiting For.

I hate Valentine's Day.

And, it's not because I don't believe in it. I hate it for the exact same reason I hate my birthday.

Valentine's Day = Disappointment

This year may be a little different, in that I may have finally convinced myself nothing is going to happen. After all, I'm hiding and no one has my address, so I can't get any flowers. I cannot expect any surprise visits, or any diamonds. No jewelry for that matter. Not even a card.

But I have never really wanted any of that, because they seem to be so not personal.

Like Christmas, it's over done and played out.

All I've ever wanted was someone to pay attention. Enough that I would never, ever have to say what I want. Something that means something, no cliches, no cavities. A book or a fishbowl would mean more to me than a dozen roses.

I understand the argument that today really doesn't mean anything, and that on any other day, these jestures would mean more. I understand. But why not let this day mean something? Why do I have to keep telling myself today means nothing to save myself the inevitable No-One-Loves-Me feeling? Why let society talk you out of a day that should mean everything?

By saying today is nothing, all you've done is give up and in to the rest of my generation. Making this day your own would be the greatest act of defiance. Fuck Hallmark, and Hershey's. Yes. But let's not fuck the little girl that's always believed in Valentine's Day.

02.14.03 || 9:17 am

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