Prophet 60091.
You have to understand what a difficult baby he was. Is.
I blame myself for not being able to breast feed, so I will continuously spoil him because I think it might make up for being a terrible mother. For being an older mother. For not being the one that stays home with him.
Tonight is the first night ever that I have had E to myself. I let him watch an hour and a half of TV, and he had a hot dog and French fries for dinner - and an apple, I had to try. I put him to bed with a cup of milk. These are all of the things I did wrong today. I just didn't want to battle him any more. I deserve every bit of disdain and all of those looks. I am a terrible mom, but at the very fucking least this kid will have some moral fiber and a sense of humor.
06.15.13 || 6:54 pm
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