How to not mom.
I love this kid. I do.
I had no idea that I could love someone like this and still want to lock them in a box and mail them to Montana.
I don't entertain the thought of not having him frequently, it makes me sad to think about that part of my life never existing, but I would be lying if I said I had never.
I blame my niece. She was the most adorable baby ever, even though I was terrified of her. But when she was about 3 months old, she somehow convinced me babies were a good idea.
And then there was an Elliott.
I am a bad parent - I should be reading up on how to deal with strong willed children instead of fumbling around in my own issues. And when people tell me I'm a good mom, I just can't believe them. I still struggle with which battles to engage in. And S just engages in all of them.
I feel like I should have figured out how he would parent beforehand. Maybe some disagreements could have been avoided, but I don't think you can ever really tell. He is infinitely patient with me, I assumed it would carry over. Not the case.
My battle now is always how selfish I am being. Especially with my free time. I have so much to do, and it's upsetting that I can't spend all of my time with E - I still have to take care of myself.