Don't listen to the sad CD.
I keep looking for something sad to write about, but nothing is coming. And, I've never been very good at writing funny things, either. Though I feel a little bad for calling in sick today, even if I really am ill.
I broke a nail today. But, even that's not sad. Or funny.
I'm actually just filled with worry. Anxiety, even though I haven't had an attack in months. I'm worried about all of the things I haven't done yet that need to get done. I'm worried about how much my pay check is going to be on Wednesday. I'm worried about him getting here. I'm worried about what will happen when he does get here. I'm worried about the laundry I have to do, and the cleaning and the packing.
The thing I worry most about is liking him too much, too fast. That should be a silly thing to worry about, but it's not. I'm afraid because of what usually happens then, which is the big pull away. And I don't think there's anything worse than being unwanted by someone you really, really like.
I'd like to believe that if it's there, we'll both know, and everything will work out. But, it's hard to hold on to that faith when it's been proven wrong so many times, and everyone can't believe in the same thing. Not everyone believes in a cosmic click, that you know within seconds if it's it or not. Some people need to be beaten over the head with it in order to even feel it.
So. God, I don't know. The next week or so will not be angst ridden, I'm sorry. Maybe something will creep up to bother me, but for the most part, I'm going to be here biting my nails, biting my lip, wasting time.